From the Shadows

Do we keep reaching out for the same love because it feels safe? 

The same love that we keep finding ourselves in…because the chaos, the mistreatment, that type of dysfunction we already know how to handle? 

We have adjusted. Our nervous system and mind have so fully synched to living in fight or flight. So fully adjusted are we to living in hyper-vigilance that healthy and normal feel scary. Healthy and normal we no longer know how to handle. 

Why?? 

Because we’ve spent so much time, energy, and focus on surviving a relationship, thinking that we’re making it “work” – when what we’re really doing is living in survival mode. 

When we are offered normal we self-sabotage. We go back to what we know how to handle. What we already have coping mechanisms for. Because what we are accustomed to feels so much safer than the possibility of being hurt in a new way. A way we haven’t yet learned how to handle. And that unknown is enough to make us run back to our comfort zone. 

But how liberating (and frightening) it truly is when we decide we no longer want to love from our comfort zone. We no longer want to accept the wrong kind of love. The love that hurts more than heals. 

In the grand scheme of things I can honestly say I know very little. 

But what I do know is that I’m ready to learn. I’m ready to grow. Life is not something I want to merely survive. It’s something I want to live fully. I want to thrive. 

So here’s to thriving. Taking it day by day, step by step. 

Sometimes it feels more like 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. This journey doesn’t look the same for everyone. But you’re making progress regardless. 

And you should be proud of that.